(Insert Witty Title Here)

On an occasion such as this, I feel very peacefully at the point of rest. Having finished my first two classes of grad school and before starting my next two, I have a feeling much like what one has upon achievement of a local summit after a good long hike.

I like the ellipsis: it's one of my favorite punctuation marks (yes, I am a nerdly enough nerd to have favorite punctuation). But the ellipsis is all about the periods, or full stops. The idea of the stop in the middle of a thought tells you that there's something missing, or at the end of a sentence, it lets you know that there was more to be said that was not.

I don't want to create any new punctuation (such as the interrobang), but as a concept I like the thought of three sequential commas. If you (whoever ye be!) are a grammar Nazi, then you might have noticed throughout my journal that I have a less than perfect use of punctuation with particular overuse of commas; this is because I like 'em. I like commas because they convey a sense of pause and slowness to me. In this way, a comma-triplet brings in more of a thought that there's nothing being said at this point, but that it is okay; perhaps even this halt to expression is even a good thing, allowing meaning to be communicated by not communicating.

To have a small time in-between classes is my ,,,.

Sometimes I wonder about the cycles of life.

This evening, my parents and I went out to dinner and sat in the outdoor dining area. When we were nearly done with our meal, a group of people who were roughly my age, though probably younger, sat at a table nearby. The topics of conversation and the mannerisms of this group made my parents visibly uncomfortable and made me feel separably older than those others. I think that this is one of the first times that I have felt older than a group of adults, and certainly the first time that I have noticed it.

I know that the baby boomers have had serious issues with growing up, and I wonder, will Gen X/Y/Z have the same? What is it about our parents that made them feel as if they were perpetually young, and why do I (we) feel the same? Have those of The Greatest Generation (those who lived through the second world war) never felt this way? Were all prior generations understanding of the fact that people have cycles of life?

Perhaps the baby boomers and later have conflated the ideas of youth and progressivism; so do I stand. It has been near to five years since I have been a teenager, and even more recently than that I have thought that anything against the established order must be in the general social good.

I need to ponder whether the transition away from "youth = progressivism" must lead to "wisdom = conservatism." What I mean is this: as youths, the general assumption is that people will be liberal/progressive, while as older citizens, people trend towards conservative. Does this happen as a matter of fact? Is it an aspect of the way society has developed us? Or is it an indication that we never really change our ideals, but, rather, that our ideals are redefined from progressive to conservative as the world grows old with us?

Perhaps reincarnation is more applicable to ideaologies more than to people.

"I really should be doing my homework right now." This thought has been going through my head almost continuously for the last six weeks. Every waking moment, even the edges of the sleeping ones, they all are potential periods of engagement with my coursework. Any time I look out the window, every moment I walk slower, each one is a little less time I am working on my school work. The attitude, it crushes me sometimes. I grind my teeth and clench my jaw because I stress. I have minor panic attacks in which my mind runs in smaller and smaller loops trying to do nothing but think about what to think about how to think about when to think about what to think about...

And then I stop.

And now I'm wasting time again.

Seeing as I was (implicitly?) tagged...

A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B. Tag seven people to do the same. (No!)
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag whoever wants to do it. (Don't wanna!)

1. It is much easier for me to identify my useless talents than it is to do so for my useful talents. Examples: I can whistle like a bird, prevent (not stifle) my yawns, curl my tongue, juggle, &c.

2. I much prefer to not wear shoes, but my feet are borderline socially acceptable in their ugliness.

3. The most frustrating thing in the world for me is when my mind gets caught in a loop of thought; it's the only time I feel trapped.

4. I'm pretty good at not getting caught when I people-watch.

5. I possess a particular passion for pedantry pertaining to permutations of pronunciation and punctuation.

6. I honestly believe that puns are both the highest and the lowest form of humor.

7. I grind my teeth at night, though not as badly as I used to.

In the interest of cutting genealogies short, I tag no one.

Here's a thought: the Bible does not equal the Word of God.

I really don't know how that sits with the various people who (used to?) read my blog. Allow me to explain:
The logical version is thus: Jesus is the Word of God. The Bible is not Jesus. Therefore, the Bible is not the Word of God.
The critical version is thus: the Bible, as we have it, has been passed on over a long time, through many copyings. We have a large consensus on the majority of the text, but a very small part of it is still ambiguous as to the original text. Hence, We are less (but not by much) than 100% certain that we have the exact Word of God in our current version of the Bible.
The metaphysical version is thus: the Word of God, even so-called in the Greek linguistic framework, is a concept that is necessarily higher than strict language and, thus, cannot be contained within a book.

Thoughts?

To show what I do when I'm bored, here's a recent project I've been working on.

That, minus the bowl which is getting worked on to attach it to the stem, is a home-made hookah.

I got the idea from this guy and decided to go ahead and do it.

8 Supplies:

1. gallon-ish size pickle jar
   
2. 8.5" x 11" sheet of Lexan
   
3. 10 feet of 1/2" PVC hose
   
4. about a yard of 3/4" PVC pipe
   
5. various PVC pipe fittings
   
6. two different kinds of glue
   
7. a combo bowl--coal-screen--wind-screen
   
8. a Dremel 1100
   

The idea was to build a multi-hose hookah (so that more than one can hit it at the same time) that could collapse into easy storing/transport. I ended up successful on both counts. The picture only shows one hose, because the other hole has a plug in it (neat, huh?). The stem above the jar lid screws off, and so does the stem below the lid, and all the parts -- from the hoses to the bowl to some tobacco and coals -- they all fit inside the jar. I'm a little bit more pleased about making the hookah than I am with getting into grad school because I know that I made the hookah whereas I'm convinced that the grad school thing is mostly God.

8 Lessons:

1. A Dremel tool is the coolest tool ever. Period. No, there will be no argument on that one.
   
2. Cutting lexan with a sanding disk (instead of a cutting disk) creates a lot of heat. It's true. It also gets rid of the sanding disk really quickly.
   
3. When you cut a metal pickle jar lid with a Dremel, the sparks are really fun until they land on you. Then they're fun and painful. (Note to self: keep sparks away from face)
   
4. Work gloves and eye protection are Very Important.
   
5. Building your own hookah is really fun!
   
6. Different glues are good at different things: one can be strong and stiff, another flexible and work in high heat -- there is almost no overlap in the glues I used.
   
7. Smoking shisha is not nearly as fun when it is done alone.
   
8. I have a lot of half-thought ideas that really suck, but this one ended up to not be one of those.
   

I got into graduate school! (for those who are short of memory or slightly confused, here's the program: http://artsci.usfca.edu/graduate/financial/sf/overview.html)

I really had my doubts as to getting in: I applied in early April when applications started in January; I had a 2.9 coming out of college; I didn't have one of the required courses of study (accounting); and I was applying to the professional version, which takes more experience into account than recent education, whereas the accelerated program is vice versa.

It ends up that they were willing to overlook my other deficiencies and let me in, provided that I took an accounting course by the time I started. Conveniently, there is a UC Santa Cruz course which fulfills that requirement.

So, it looks like I have a little bit more of my immediate path laid out before me. I'm very excited and happy to have gotten into this program and I look forward to the places it will lead me.

Because I haven't done a meme in freakin' forever. Like longer than between my updates. Like years. For. Ev. Er.

---

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool..

OPENING CREDITS: "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" - Creedance Clearwater Revival
WAKING UP: "Communication" - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL: "Milestone" - Five Iron Frenzy
FALLING IN LOVE: "Good Riddance (Time of your Life)" - Greenday
FIGHTING: "Warrior" - Matisyahu
BREAKING UP: "Rather Be Dead" - The Ws
PROM: "Help Me, Rhonda" - The Beach Boys
LIFE'S OK: "Little Brown Jug" - Glenn Miller
MENTAL BREAKDOWN: "God Who Saves" - Caedmon's Call
DRIVING: "Closet Full of Fear" - Hootie & the Blowfish
FLASHBACK: "Haunted" - Evanescence
GETTING BACK TOGETHER: "Everything to Everyone" - Everclear
WEDDING: "Good People" - Jack Johnson
BIRTH OF CHILD: "Pretty Angry (for J. Sheehan)" - Blues Traveler
FINAL BATTLE: "It's Christmas! Let's Be Glad!" - Sufjan Stevens
DEATH SCENE: "The Woodpecker Song" - Glenn Miller
FUNERAL SONG: "Intro/Warm Beer and Cold Women" - Tom Waits
END CREDITS: "Cloudy" - Simon & Garfunkel

---

That was fun. Mostly off, but a little true in many places. I think I would like "The Woodpecker Song" during my death scene. It'd be very surreal.

You know what really grinds my gears? Easter and Christmas church services. Those really make me angry. I mean, who shows up to church only two times a year, hears the story of Jesus for the nth time, and then says, "Oh! After twenty years of showing up to church only at Christmas and Easter (prior to which I had abode by my parents' rules, showing up as often as they), I have now seen the light! Praise be Jesus the LORD and messiah!"? I don't mean to be awful to anybody who found Jesus at an Easter service, but honestly, there is way too much plotting and scheming that goes over how to suck new people into the church on the two days during which they feel morally obligated to attend the services.

This little rant has been brought to you by Grace Bible Church and the associated Evangelical Free Church. Not really, though I like to point blame at those whom I would like to accuse.

On a more serious note, I have some thoughts on Buddhism as it compares with Christianity.

---

A little while ago, while I was driving to work, I noticed that I was growing increasingly frustrated towards the other drivers on the road. That I was frustrated is not remarkable, but that I noticed it is. In noticing my frustration, I assumed that such a reaction is undesirable and pondered what is the (or a) good course of action in response to frustration.

My thoughts turned towards a Buddhist response -- that I would calm my thoughts and show the anger that, in the larger picture, there is no cause for it. In this way, I may be peaceful through the distractions, frustrations, and aggravations around me. Following the thought of the Buddha: I have been subject to suffering because I want to have my way in traffic, and do not get my way; if I am to cease my suffering, I must cease the desire for my way in traffic; to cease the desire for my way, I must understand that I am part of the whole and that to claim the priority of my desire is as to mark one drop of water as special from the others.

But then my thoughts also turn to the Christian response -- that I would love those people who are being retards on the road. This is the intriguing train of thought because Jesus never left us with an eightfold path by which we may attain the right love; He just said to do it (by getting to know Him). Seriously, though, it rubs me the wrong way: that I'm supposed to "love" that guy who's a total asshole, the one who tailgated me for two and a half miles then sped up around me and slammed on his brakes when I was in the right lane of a two-lane road? That kind of heart-attitude takes some huevos grandes. How in the hell do I manage to love that person? I can patronize him by thinking up some sort of pathetic scenario regarding his childhood that results in his being a choad on the road, but actual love is a thought far from my head.

I know this one thing: the Buddhist Nirvana of imperturbability is much more achievable than the love of Christ; however; I am not assured that it is better. Other than opposites, love and Nirvana are more as different directions from the same point. On the track of Buddha, one goes meta the situation, where meta is a preposition that indicates (through/over/under/between/around); meta is kind of like avoiding, but without the idea of having been disturbed in the path of travel.

On the way of Jesus, a person must engage in reconciliation of/with the other and the self. This means that a person who is to love another must not only forgive any wrongdoing or harm between the two, but also come to appreciate the other as God appreciates him or her. That is a pretty frickin' tall order, I think.

But which way is better? A Buddhist reaction seems to me to be a disengagement from the situation, while the Christian attitude engages deeper than that situation -- it goes to the person. Is it better to not care about something or to see it as having eternal weight? I know which one is easier on my psyche.

I guess, in conclusion (as much as I will have it for now), I cannot engage with loving people on a day-to-day basis, situation by situation, unless I am upheld and thoroughly empowered by the Spirit of God in that love; if I am not, then I am already done in by the condition of my effort.

Now, I dedicate an entry to an exposition of my desires. I will strive to avoid the lewd.

• Car: BMW 335i Convertible. Price: More than $50k.
  Desire status: Lust, no attempt to attain it.
  
• Wine: PoiZin. I love Zinfandel wines, and this is hands down the best wine of any sort I have ever had.
  Desire status: Thinking about a drive to Capitola. Sometime.
  
• Computer: I'm torn between a MacBook Pro or one of the super-ultra-small Sony Vaios. If friggin' Apple would make a tiny little MacBook Pro, I'd be sold.
  Desire status: If I'm going to go $50k in debt for grad school, I'll take another couple out for a new laptop. Otherwise, nope.
  
• Girl: Kristen. I can't talk about her too much in public or I risk causing diabetes in somebody from the saccharine content of my lauding.
  Desire status: Thinking about a drive to San Francisco. Tonight.
  

kbye!

For my encore performance, another post.

If you think that LiveJournal has it bad, then weep for my paper journal, which had not seen an entry since I left San Diego. In August. Oh, well.

Here are things that I like, of which you may or may not be aware.

• Fountain pens. I love the way a nib writes. I love to say "nib". Nib. Mmmmm.
  
• Stuffed animals, but those without excessive clothing. That's right. I like stuffed bunnies, bears, sloths, marmots, echidnas, capybaras, and elefuntboys.
  
• Sour candy. Note, this does not include the cavities I have gotten from said candy.
  
• Peeing while standing up. Some men take this for granted; I prefer to lord it over women. This and no periods are possibly the only true and indisputable advantages that men have over women.
  
• Port. Not of call, as in, "hello sailor boy", but rather the fortified wine. If you know what it is, you might know that there are ruby ports and tawny ports. But did you know there are white ports? True!
  
• Hearing the rain on the roof. Note the requirement, "roof". This precludes a tent, where the rain comes inside to play.
  

Lest I exhaust my creative juices by writing more than once every few days, I conclude.

Because I told Erik that I would.

Quick update time!

• Kristen is the bestest girlfriend ever. No arguments, especially from you, Kristen.


• I'm technically, officially, really a stockbroker now. And an investment advisor representative, if you care. Ask me why you should start an IRA. Really.


• Church life is...okay. Stuff with God is a bit better than okay. But the exciting thing is that I'm mentoring/discipling a guy named Cole. He reminds me in scary ways of Ciaran.


• I was in San Diego last week and I did not spend enough time with anybody except for people in suits. Particular apologies to my NorCal homies -- Jimmy, Zach, and Erik.


• I'm applying to grad school. I hope to finish my application. Then I hope to get in.


• I got my first-ever speeding ticket. I'm appealing it on Constitutional grounds, just 'cuz.


• I might, maybe, possibly update this again within the next six months. Maybe.

For the past few days, I've been here. Well, sorta. In and around there. Raymond James Financial has its home office in Florida, specifically in St. Petersburg, which is part of a conglomeration of cities around the Tampa bay area. I learned all sorts of stuff that is useful for working with RJF, but generally uninteresting to anybody outside (and most inside) the company, so I won't go into details.

But I was thinking, as I sat on a plane from Houston to San Jose, next to an Indian guy who seemed like he was on speed, wearing my earphones just so I wouldn't be insulted by the awful no-meal food service -- I was thinking about an innovation for flight travel. Picture it, if you will: convertible airplanes! I mean, folks love to drive cars with the wind in their hairs, so why not bring that luxury to the sky? We could call it a Boeing Softtop! Or an Airbus 360 Cabriolet!

I also noticed that Tampa wasn't made to walk. In either sense: the city has no legs of its own, nor does the urban planning incorporate a system of sidewalks that allow one to autolocate from one point to another without danger of sprinkler attack, muddy shoes, or getting acquainted with alligators. It can be a rather pretty city, when it's not trying to be the Florida that is really Ohio's warm and moist getaway. Florida is a swamp. Florida is almost tropical. Florida is in the South. When it tries to run away from anything that it can't really change, it is lying to itself and it's letting others be lied to. I guess I'm just bothered by the homogenization that half-happens when a city has grown up in recent years. Maybe it's because it's grown too quickly. I dunno.

Note to myself (and anybody else who likes Zins) Black Mountain Cramer Ridge makes a super smooth 04 Zinfandel.

I have two related, but unconnected thoughts to play with.

---

Consider the word "productive". This adjective is one of the most universally used approbations in the business world. And, because the US is highly business-centered, it becomes the compliment of choice in other arenas, such as education, the family, and self-improvement.

But why do we -- assuming that "we" are included in those who think productivity is tied to goodness -- think that productivity is a good thing? I can think of two possibilities, of which one, both, or neither could be right.

First, to be generous to the philosophies of Americans, it could be that we think that productivity is applicable to each thing in its own way: a tree is productive when it does its thing with carbon dioxide, a shark is productive when it swims around and eats little fishes, and a person is productive when she makes widgets like she should. If the goodness of a thing is attributable because it is what it ought to be, and some person ought to be making widgets, then a person who makes widgets is good. This doesn't account for any superlative goodness (i.e., the absolute, top-notch, most good), it does allow for relative goodness. So, instead of approving of the the whole person by calling him good, one can instead approve of only his performance in a particular task, saying that he is productive. This allows us to both make a powerful approval, but also cover our butts when complimenting another person.

On the cynical side, I think that our use of "productive" as approval has its roots in, at worst, the greed of American society or, at best, in our broken understanding of values. Either way, productivity is a concept that stems from an economic perspective, specifically one that emphasizes profit. Productivity when tied to profit is necessarily fiscal/monetary in nature. (If you didn't know, there is a broader understanding of trade and valuation that works outside of money or other mediums of exchange, where people hold value of things, but cannot trade that value, because the valuation is only by their own preferences. This more general valuation of an item is called its utility.) Production is necessarily tied to tradable goods and services because they can be externally, possibly objectively evaluated. Basically, non-tradable value cannot be measured, so it isn't included in productivity. Non-objective, immeasurable things include satisfaction, honesty, love, and contentment. To replace goodness with productivity is to discount or eliminate the value of these and other immeasurables in the quality of life.

---

Luke 18:18-19 'A certain ruler asked him, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone." '

On the subject of goodness, Jesus makes a very powerful assertion: that nobody but God is good. I could defend his statement and show that only God is absolutely good, but others can have pieces of goodness. But really, what is Christ's point? Is it that nobody (mortal) is good? or is it that God alone is good? I think that it is more consistent with Jesus' overall presentation of the Gospel message that he would say the latter: only God is good. But, remember: he is saying that only God is good when somebody else has called him, Jesus, good. I say that this teaching is meant to show that all good in Jesus and in his works is because God is in Jesus and his works. Because Jesus is perfectly in tune with God, his person and his works are good.

In the same way, I think that Jesus meant us to look to God for that which is good. We ought not seek to determine whether or not a thing is good in and of itself, because it cannot be so. Instead, we should see if a thing is good by judging if it God is living or working in it. Inasmuch as God is living or working in something, it is good. For this reason, I argue that nothing is totally evil: because God will, by some way and in His own time, bring everything in line with His plan, nothing can be absolutely apart from Him.

I do not mean to say that everything is redeemed, or that everybody will end up in heaven. Those are not things I know, or even can guess on. What I am willing to have faith in is that God's goodness will win in the end, and I desire to encourage that in myself, in others, and in the world around me.

I think it's mid-60 degrees in my house right now. The chilliness of NorCal was the thing I has least expected when I came back.

I drove back here uneventfully, going around 60 mph most the way along 101. I was passed by no less than 2 highway patrolmen, one of them passed me several times as he got off and on the freeway to get behind the bubble of cars. It made me glad that I was being slow that day.

After arriving at 10pm on Sunday, I woke up and drove to San Francisco at 10am Monday. After a happy reunion, Kristen and I went to visit USF so that I could check out their MS in Financial Analysis program. Kristen's school is here, and USF is here.

It's only two or so miles, but it's a way nicer neighborhood at USF. Golden Gate Park and the Haight-Ashbury district are near USF, while Hastings has the Civic Center and a whole lot of homeless people. Every homeless person I've ever talked with has been pretty chill, but that's because I avoid the ones that seem threatening. Around the Civic Center, there's mostly the chill homeless, but there are a few that aren't so.

Kristen and I hung out and had dinner at a rad Thai restaurant. They let me have mango and sticky rice instead of banana fritters. Mmmmm. The next day my parents got to meet Kristen. They behaved themselves well and she did a very good job of showing up and not being hideously nervous. Excellent.

Yesterday I got fingerprinted and filled out paperwork to become a registered financial advisor. I chatted with the police as they fingerprinted me, and finally got an answer to a question that had been bugging me about traffic law. It only applies to commercial vehicles, so I'll refrain from putting it up here unless somebody wants to know. The paperwork had about 50 questions (seriously!) asking if I had ever committed, been convicted of committing, been accused of committing, attempted to commit, helped to commit, been accused of helping to commit (etc.) any finance or trustworthiness-related crime or professional code. They asked for all sorts of information for background stuff, like last 10 years of employment, last 5 years of residency (difficult when you move every year). I survived, though. I'm supposed to start work on Tuesday.

I'm looking forward to the plans for this weekend: watch a game with Kristen and her family, hang out with her at Capitola, and generally be a bum for a little while longer.

::looks around::
Did I lay low long enough? Is anybody still looking at this?

Don't answer that. Given the moment, when a couple other long-quiet friends finally decided to update, I decided maybe I'd let anybody who cares know what's going on.

First things (on my mind) first: Kristen and I have been together for 7 months now. I'm pretty much head-over-heels crazy about her. She's an amazing woman who challenges and loves me. I'm truly blessed by her. She's just started her first year of law school at UC Hastings. I'm sad 'cuz it'll be 19 days by the time I get to see her next. I know some couples go months, but I'm attached.

Second, my job. To review: I've worked for UCSD's Shuttle Operations since June of 2002, gradually increasing my time worked, my seniority, and my involvement with the department. After I graduated, they asked if I could stay on temporarily to stand in as the boss of night-time operations. I agreed, with the aim of moving on within a couple months (i.e., by the end of calendar year 2005). The recruitment for the supervisor position was multiply delayed, extending my stay past the limit of hours allowed by the union, so the department was forced to scramble a solution. The result was that I was hired on as a "full-time employee," the UC's version of tenure -- full benefits and very difficult to fire. If I had so desired, I could have settled in and never left the system, once I passed six months on the job.

So I stuck around about eight months past when I had intended. What did I do? Once I trained the new night-time supervisor, I got the ball rolling on a project that (hopefully) will have students greatly involved in operating and improving the department. It's amazing what some initiative and free time can accomplish. Because my job was to get other people to move with the project, and I was good at that job, I ended up with about a month of being pretty useless around the office. Sure, I found random things to do. Sure, my knowing way too much about the department came in handy a couple times. But overall, I was a giant drain on the department's funds. I have four days left of that, with the last day being mostly a party, then I'm done with Shuttles (God willing).

This leads me to #3: I'm moving back to Monterey Bay with my parents. After having been in San Diego for six years, the last three of them continuous, the last one being financially independent, I'm pulling out of here. Why? I think that you can see a couple reasons already: Kristen going north is the undeniably obvious one, but not the only cause. I think I need to say why I had intended to stay in SD after school.

I didn't really have a reason. I had things for which to stick around, but there was no purpose for me (from me?) to be here.

Good reasons: There were, and are, the freshmen from my 6th College study. They're awesome kids and I love them. There's Coast Vineyard. I seriously question whether any church can ever feel as much of a home as this one.

Bad/sketchy/misdirected reasons: Momentum -- I'd been in SD, so why not stay here? There was continued pursuit of a particular woman, the longing of whom litters many of my public and private posts from the school year 2004/5. Aimless shots at "paths": ministry? stockbroking? shuttle driving? I tried the Vineyard Leadership Institute, but it just never clicked for me. I can complain about it, but, as Pastor Jamie said, I'm not the kind of person for whom the program was built.

VLI was really the key thing that I used to justify my continued presence in San Diego, when what I really wanted was a romantic relationship. I guess I should say, "go me!" for getting what I wanted, but I would never have guessed who it would be.

So I'm moving back with my parents. Aside from being closer to Kristen, it brings me closer to my family. I'm finally starting to appreciate them more. In the past few months, there have been numerous deaths around me, from a roommate's mom to my grandma to my cousins' other grandma to my family's dog (the dog had been with us 16 years, so she was very much a part of the family). These deaths, in each their own ways, and others less close to me, have given me a greater urgency for loving those close to me, particularly while life is good. I don't want for more sorrow than has already been to draw me closer to my family. Now, while I'm entering into my prime and my parents are still in theirs, I feel that it is right to invest more into those relationships.

The most practical part of moving back is that it will be healthy for me financially and career-wise. I still have some left-over credit card debt that I've been whittling away on, but getting rid of the $800-$1000 in monthly living expenses will cut down the time until that debt is gone. My mom will probably pay me better for work that is more suited to my skills and abilities than I've been getting with Shuttles, while letting me work fewer hours. Working with her will provide experience and a safe, easy entry into the field of finance. I'm looking at pursuing a Chartered Financial Analyst certification as my next career/education goal.

I'm still unsure about the future, but I'm starting to fake it less. I don't know where my relationship with Kristen is going, but I love her; so far the risk has been more than worth it. I don't know where my relationship with God is going, but I love Him; maybe I've gone backwards, maybe I've gone sideways, I don't know -- but I'll keep finding Him near me. I don't know how my relationships with my family will grow and/or change, but I love them; I hope to grow in spiritual support of each other, but that is something that is totally a theory, I have no idea where it would start. I'm not going to work within the pattern and say I love my career; I'm not sure if I'm doing a smart or stupid thing by getting practical there.

I don't know if I've made up for not posting in five-ish months, but I made a good sized chunk of text.

Check out Joel Kilpatrick's A Field Guide to Evangelicals, unless you think that American Cultural Christianity is the best thing on the face of this earth. Plenty of good observations in that book that American Christians should look at.

Lame: I went to Oklahoma for a week, this past week.
Sub-lame: I was doing physical labor the entire time.
Double Lame: My girlfriend ran off to France for this week.

I'm lame for making this my first entry in a while. Bye.